Relationship Counseling for Individuals and Couples
The Myths of Infidelity
Much of the conventional wisdom about what causes affairs and how to repair relationships is misguided and fueled by Myths of Infidelity.
Popular thinking about Infidelity is clouded by myths. Even Therapists who are not specifically trained in how to help couples HEAL from an affair are misinformed by the Myths of Infidelity.
Much of the advice on Television shows and in popular books about how to affair-proof your marriage can be misleading. Even Therapists who are not specifically trained in how to help couples HEAL from an affair are misinformed by the Myths of Infidelity.
Here are a few TRUTHS about Infidelity:
|After an affair, divorce is inevitable.
Marriages CAN with effort and professional help survive affairs if the affairs are exposed.
Affairs happen in unhappy or unloving marriages.
Affairs can happen in good marriages. Affairs are less about love and more about sliding across boundaries.
Affairs occur mostly because of sexual attraction.
The lure of an affair is how the unfaithful partner is mirrored back through the adoring eyes of the new love. Another appeal is that individuals experience new roles and opportunities for growth in new relationships.
Everybody has affairs .
Infidelity is not normal behavior, but a symptom of a problem.
Affairs prove that love has gone from the marriage.
Affairs can occur in marriages that, prior to the affair, were quite good.
The affair is the fault of the betrayed.
No one can drive someone else to have an affair.
There is safety in ignorance of a spouse’s affair.
Affairs are fueled by secrecy and threatened by exposure.
A cheating partner almost always leaves clues, so a naïve spouse must be burying his or her head in the sand.
The majority of affairs are never detected. Some individuals can successfully compartmentalize their lives or are such brilliant liars that their partner never finds out.
A person having an affair shows less interest in sex at home.
The excitement of an affair can increase passion at home and make sex even more interesting.
The person having the affair isn’t “getting enough” at home.
The truth is that the unfaithful partner may not be giving enough. In fact, the spouse who gives too little is at greater risk than the spouse who gives too much because he or she is less invested.
A straying partner finds fault with everything you do.
He or she may, in fact, become Mr. Or Mrs. Wonderful in order to escape detection. Most likely, he or she will be alternately critical and devoted.
How We Can Help
If you have discovered an Infidelity or suffering from the trauma of discovery, it's important to address this with your partner, sooner rather than later. Please feel free to call or contact me directly NOW for a confidential, complimentary telephone consultation about your concerns and to discuss your options. Contact me at (818) 859-6766 or use the Contact Form to the right to learn how I may be of assistance to you.